rainbow_tearz

Eh my stomachs acting funny today. I could probably eat something but I think Im going to try to hold off till noon. I dont have very long before then anyways.

Hayden n gavin are driving me crazy. They have been since the second week I started watching them. I hate watching them, but it was the only way I could come down here. Its funny, of all the shit I went through this summer, I just wanted a break from the hard stuff. Thats all this summer had. I dont want to come here again unless its for a week. What a head trip.

INCUBUS IS ON!!! WOHOOOOO! I love this band with everything I have.. which isnt much but thats besides the point.  eh.. I cried lastnight talking to seth online. I think I figured it out. Seth is a part of my past that I never let go of cuz he hurt me so bad. Now, hes coming to me saying he wishes we could be together and Im kinda mad cuz it took him this long to figure it out, but its to late. I love shaun now. Hillary asked me if someone was holding a gun to my head and told me to choose, who would I pick. First instinct, Shaun. I feel better about our relationship. Theres something there that Ill never be able to put my finger on but I dont think I could ever willingly leave him. ::sigh::  harsh reality hurts hardcore.

So nice to have a place to write that nobody knows about... well..except those I tell heh... Im having serious issues.

Im with shaun, but Seth wants me back. Seth has loved me for 2 years..and I still care for him. I love shaun to death but how do I deal with this?? I told hillary that if something happened between shaun and I, id move back to NC and be with seth... She thinks hes a better match with me. I feel so torn.

Shaun...seth... love u both but i have no idea who is supposed to be with me...I wish i knew what was real.

Current Mood: crushed

Current Music: Ataris-The Saddest Song